This past month has been pretty exciting for me. Mostly because it was the first time since graduation that I felt some sort of change in my life. For a while I was beginning to feel as though I would stay in this standstill position and there would be no progress in my career.
I know it’s common for most graduates to not get into their desired career right away. But for me it seemed a little more complicated than that. I wasn’t certain as to what that career even was. I found myself searching and searching daily for any opportunity that would make my heart say “yes, that’s it. That is what I want to do for the rest of my life”.
Sometimes I almost found myself wanting to give up and just say screw it…let me just work in retail (not that there is anything wrong with working in retail of course) But I always imagined myself doing something else…I don’t know what that something is, all I know is that, that something is great.
Anyway the past month was sort of therapeutic for me in a way. I got to experience things I never thought I would ever experience. I was lucky enough to FINALLY get a placement with the BBC. (I mean seriously I have been applying since like forever!). This placement was a dream come true and it was just what I needed to feel alive again.
The placement was in Manchester so this meant moving there for a bit. I guess it was like I was sort of living a new life for a little while.
I remember one time during lunch time. I just sat there looking up at the offices thinking to myself …this is real. I am here. At the BBC. Me. It was just a surreal moment. It got me thinking, there once was a time I never thought I would get this far.
I thought back to all the times I didn’t believe in myself and feared that I wouldn’t pass my GCSE’s let alone graduate.
I just wish I could tell my young self not to worry and just keep on believing. Since I can’t, I just thought I should write a letter for those of you who are still in that position. Maybe you may find a little inspiration.
Dear old me or should I say young me…
I know that right now you are probably panicking thinking about how hard that maths test is going to be and how the hell you are going to remember all those notes for English.
Stop worrying and crying about that media exam you keep getting a D on over and over again. Yeah Okay everyone else around you is getting B or higher. But you are you. So what if it takes you a little longer and you have to work a little harder to grasp something. Just work hard.
You should probably stop watching One Tree Hill and revise. You CAN get that C. (I got an A!)
Work Hard and Play Hard.
Working hard doesn’t mean no play. Have fun a little. Let your hair down. You are young so you should be free.
What if I told you a few years from now you would be at a concert until late into the night…even though you know you have to be up for work in the early hours of the morning the next day? Ooo Scandal. But if you can’t do it now when can you do it?! I want you to live in the moment. I want you to be able to remember what it’s like being young because trust me…you are going to miss it.
Cherish those school days
Would you believe it if I told you that early mornings and long days don’t get any better when you are older? I know you are thinking about missing first period because it’s “too early”. Yep. Don’t. I would train your body now…because it only gets harder from there. Miss first period miss a couple of class notes. Miss your work shift… miss a couple of money notes.
It’s Okay to not be Okay.
I know you probably feel like a loser 80% of the time. But trust me sometimes those are the best memories.
I know you are also probably thinking about that boy right now. You are wondering why do you like him so much?. Why doesn’t he like you back? He hasn’t even spoken to you for like a year…even after you keep putting on that make up. (Which is giving you a rash btw…you are going to regret that)
But don’t worry you will blossom into your looks and you and that boy…yeah you are never going to happen. But that’s Okay because at Uni… yeah it isn’t happening there either. Sorry.
But don’t worry. We are going to be just fine. Don’t believe me?… look we are going to be on TV! Well in the background but I mean come on that’s practically famous. Claim to fame.
You are going to be just fine.
I know there will always be times when you don’t believe in yourself and you will question your abilities and that’s Okay just know that in the end you will be just fine.
Happy awkward teens
Love, your future self.
If YOU could tell your young self-anything what would it be?